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Friday, May 20, 2011

Grown-Up Jell-O

Three things in this world always make me smile, reggae music, Jell-O shots and Canada Geese. This is my technique for making Jell-O shots.

One package of Jell-O is normally made with two cups of water. The general rule is to substitute alcohol for one third of the water content. I make my flavors from lightest to darkest color, so I don't waste time washing the mixing bowl between flavors yet none become discolored. Each package should make 14 shots. Use cheaper liquors for these since no one will know anyway.

Utilizing this technique means each shot contains about 1/3 ounce of liquor (1/3 of a normal shot). It may not seem like much, but it can creep up and surprise you. Too much liquor in a shot makes a more distinct alcohol flavor which I have found most people do not enjoy. Still, a few such high gravity shots can mix things up. Another advantage of this formula is non-drinkers will often still partake of one or two shots and feel included in the party atmosphere.

I use an answer key so I don't have to field questions all night about which is which. Before making the shots, I number the bottoms of the cups. I record them and print out what is in each number. Sometimes, I wait a while to display this key. It’s fun to make people guess.


The answer key above is a good start, but get creative. I have experimented with instant pudding, milk and chocolate liqueur. It works, but must be kept colder than gelatin with regards to finished product. Sometimes a little lime juice or grenadine is nice. Some people add fruit, but I prefer not to. Just think of any common drink and add Jell-O.

Boil water and mix one cup of it with your Jell-O in mixing bowl with whisk (or spoon). Fill one third cup of your measuring cup with ice or cold water. Fill the other two thirds with your chosen liquor. Mix this in then transfer the contents of mixing bowl back to measuring cup. Pour into your small cups. Refrigerate per Jell-O instructions.

To save fridge space:
Get a cardboard box. Liquor stores have a large supply and if you are reading this, I suspect you have been there lately. Use a box cutter or scissors to rip into sections to fit a shelf of your fridge. As shots are poured, place a layer on the fridge shelf. Place a cardboard section over completed shots then place the next batch on top etc.

Consuming your shots:
Don't tell your guests how to eat these because it's more fun to make them figure it out. However, since you are the host, you should look cool by having this knowledge. Run your tongue around the entire circumference of the shot between Jell-O and cup. Dump into mouth. If you really want to enjoy the shot, don't be shy. It's more fun to shove it all in your mouth at once. Only girly-girls take three bites. For Pete's sake, it's a shot!

Not recommended:
Unless it is an emergency, do not use mini bathroom rinsing cups (Dixie or other). You'll end up eating paper and it's much harder to eat the Jell-O.
Too much liquid content will not allow the gelatin to set properly. Stick to two cups liquid.

Materials:
sharpie
small plastic condiment cups (available in large quantities at Sam's)
liquor
small boxes of jell-o
mixing bowl
2 cup measuring cup with pouring spout
whisk


Thanks for joining me in the wholesome family fun that is Jell-O!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Dear Celery

Dear Celery,

I hate you. I have tried for many years to be tolerant, but I finally understand that I am unable to come to terms with your acerbic crunch. Your raw bitter burst offends my sensibilities. For a time, I thought I could at least stand your presence in soups or stews with your most noxious qualities boiled out of you. I was mistaken. Your flavor pervades and anything you are a part of becomes less desirable as a result. I regret that it had to come to this, but I must abandon any semblance of civility toward you. This is war, Celery.

Sincerely,
Pam

Friday, May 6, 2011

Pop Quiz

I hope I get a good grade.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Cinco de "Maya"

*Warning – Heart-warming content may not be suitable for some audiences. Please use caution.*

Cinco de Mayo is a day to celebrate and have a good time. Many of us aren’t really sure why aside from some vaguely Mexican reason. It turns out it’s mostly a U.S. holiday celebrating Mexican heritage and culture and also the date of a battle won by Mexico against France. Whatever. It’s fun. Have a margarita.

I go through this day in remembrance of something else entirely. This is the day I most remember Maya. I first met Maya when the family that found her called for help. They described a black cat and five kittens. The cat had been a stray that decided to stay with them. The kittens came shortly after. I reluctantly took in the feline family. Mom plus four kittens were black. I knew even my rescue group would have a hard time placing them. Black cats can be a tough sell.


I went through the standard procedures, testing for disease, spays and neuters and vaccinations. The babies were cute as are all kittens and they had a great mom. She was so attentive I decided to call her Maya (after the Maiasaur, a dinosaur with a rep as a good mom). Then it occurred to me there were five kittens: Cinco de Maya!

I couldn’t have been more lucky with those kittens. Predictably, the striped one, Marble, got a home first. But then the two black females, Penny and Whistle, got adopted together. A week later, the two black males, Slingshot and Button, got adopted together. I just had Maya left…for about four years.

My mom tried to take her in at one point while I was moving, but Maya turned out to be a biter. She was also not very affectionate or trusting. I took her back and she continued to be a caring mother figure each time I fostered kittens. Even if they were as big as her, she’d pin down a younger cat to clean its ears. I eventually came to understand that Maya was no longer a foster. She was my cat. She trusted me and sat on my lap whether I wanted her to or not.


The biggest problem with keeping Maya was she didn’t get along with my other cats, all much older than her. She hid in my office and I spent time with her when I could. I thought with her age, she would be around long after the others were gone and that would be “Maya’s time”. Sadly, about a year after the decision to keep her, she got sick.

Maya stopped eating and grooming. She lost weight fast. She couldn’t walk in a straight line. She was given emergency fluids and medicine. She ate again for about a day and a half then stopped. Her liver was failing. I had to make the hard decision and let her go. I was lucky to have the opportunity to spend time with her. I held her and brushed her and made her as comfortable as possible. I was with her at the vet’s office when the end came.

Now every year on Cinco de Mayo I think of the good mother cat that I got to know. I hope I made her life better. She was my friend and I miss her.