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Monday, August 22, 2011

Technological Firsts

Technology grows exponentially and often outpaces our ability to comprehend its application. Did that statement sound smart? I sure hope so because the following blog may make me look more limited than a mime in a shrinking box.

Amongst all of the smartphones (is that one word or two?), laptops and advanced acne medication available today, I like to keep in mind some of the basic firsts in certain technologies that my family experienced when I was growing up. These devices and our reactions to them when first encountered must seem pretty moronic today. Well, they may have been moronic even back then.

Answering machines were a charming addition to our household. I have to pluralize them though because we went through so many. Sure, the tiny tapes were adorable. Until later. They can be quite daunting when their guts are exposed all over your living room as you futilely try to wind them back up to hear that potentially most-important message of your life. After splicing your broken tape back together and suffering hand cramps from twisting your pinky in the tiny hole for hours, you then receive a message meant for some real estate agent named "Betty".

The VCR was both enchanting and traumatic. I pat myself on the back for immediately figuring out how to program it. The downside was that movies were expensive. We rented often, but we owned one movie. ONE MOVIE. And let me tell you, when you own ONE MOVIE, you show that movie to every single guest that drops by. After the first dozen showings, I could quote every single line along with "Beverly Hills Cop". And I did, much to the chagrin of everyone else that actually wanted to watch it. To this day, I do not wish to see a single clip of that film nor of any of its sequels.


Our first microwave oven was kind of fun. In the beginning, it was just a big popcorn popper. We tried microwave brownies, but food technology had not quite kept up with appliances. Eventually, we figured out it was also good for defrosting frozen goods or melting cheese. The crowning achievement of the microwave age was discovered while softening butter. You see, butter sometimes comes in metallic wrappers. Wheeeeeeee! Just don't do it when Mom's looking.

The computer was fun for our young brains. Mom did great getting us one early on, guaranteeing we'd never be afraid of the technology. Our first machine was a Commodore 64. We ran some text-based games and even learned a few simple programming commands. It's hard to believe we got by with the tiny amount of memory available, but Zork didn't take a lot. Down. West. Kill troll with sword. Hello, Sailor. Of course, this was all when the floppy disk drive was actually working. And when we remembered to use comma 8, so the PC wouldn't ask us to "press play on tape".


So today I am grateful today for voicemail, DVDs, DVR and modern computer UIs. All the technological advances are pretty amazing. But it's also nice that microwaves haven't changed and the sparks can still fly!